Ask her how she feels about the way you treat her in bed, and ask her if there are things you could do to make her feel safer and more comfortable. The female I worked with not long ago who suffered a rape found only one real benefit: Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, ; 76 6: Yes, she will, and she will heal one day at a time. I have found, however, that something good can always come from something bad. Convey sensitivity Once a woman has shared that she survived a rape and the two of you have talked about it to a limited extent, let some time pass - hours or even a day or so - and then come back to her. Among single women, surviving rape makes dating - and sex with future sexual partners - an often harrowing and always stressful experience. When you feel that your partner wants to talk about her painful past, be sure to listen actively and later offer unconditional support. Perhaps if we think more about this issue, we can educate those who have relationships with women who have been raped to be more sensitive.
If you are completely honest with your feelings, you may have a moment where you have a mental flash: It is common for victims of abuse to give in to addictions related to drugs, alcohol, and sex or succumb to depression. Help her to trust again Women who have suffered sexual abuse as a child are particularly prone to having trust issues later in their adult relationships. So if you feel that despite having a warm, fulfilling relationship otherwise, your girlfriend - inexplicably - keeps avoiding intimacy with you, it could mean she has been hurt in the past. Give her enough time to find out that you are truly committed to the relationship. The women I have worked with clinically who have been raped report that one of the most difficult parts of the experience is the legacy it leaves in terms of trusting men, even a man with whom the woman may already be in a relationship. In terms of relationships and sex , how does rape change rape survivors? A therapist or counselor will go a long way in helping your partner work her way through past suffering and encourage her to take responsibility for her present. Thus your girlfriend may at times suffer from a lack of self-confidence or even a crippling form of self-doubt. Will she ever move past this? The memory of this abuse of trust makes it difficult for the victim to have faith in others, ever again. Ask her how she feels about the way you treat her in bed, and ask her if there are things you could do to make her feel safer and more comfortable. Offer support Yet another far-reaching consequence of sexual abuse is a lack of self-worth or even a latent sense of guilt in the victim. One thing that I recommend, especially if you are with a woman who doesn't want to talk about it, is to read about other women's experiences. I have found, however, that something good can always come from something bad. This could be because subconsciously the person feels that she was in some way responsible for the abuse in the past, that she may have encouraged or invited, so to speak, the heinous act. Taken to an extreme, the inability to trust a partner may also result in commitment issues where despite finding herself compatible with you, she is unable to commit to the relationship. If such self-destructive behavior is still in the initial stage, you could communicate your concerns to your partner. Amicul Center offers the following services: Yes, she will, and she will heal one day at a time. The integration of three behavioral systems. You might begin to feel that you have always been giving to the relationship and have got little in return. Sexual abuse in childhood especially has a strong chance of being manifest as unwillingness to come close to a loved one. Specialized training was provided within MTP for police officers, child protection inspectors, doctor, psychologists, social workers and educators. Focus on letting her know that you are listening and that you care about what this experience was like for her. If you are in a position where a woman discloses that she has been raped, it can be overwhelming and even scary to hear.
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